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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500827">Gotta hold on easy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mac_andcheeses/pseuds/mac_andcheeses'>mac_andcheeses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grey's Anatomy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, jolex, post 16x16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:28:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,690</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500827</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mac_andcheeses/pseuds/mac_andcheeses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jo has well and truly moved on, creating a life and a family for herself without Alex. Although when she runs into an old friend, the topic of her ex-husband can’t help but be brought up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Karev &amp; Jo Wilson, Alex Karev/Jo Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. chapter one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>another wee series i’ve been working on :) shoutout to Nat for helping me plan this thing out </p><p>&lt; hey guys, so i was hesitant to post this because i have quite a lot of other works to update but i've decided to put those on hold for now to allow me to clear by head, find some inspiration, and then come back to them. so if you're waiting on an update for 'well i didn't see that coming' or 'be your sanctuary' then it's going to be a couple of weeks! and 'missing home' is on hiatus for personal reasons. HOWEVER i have a few chapters of this fic already sorted so i should be able to keep this one up for a bit &gt; </p><p>enjoy xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>There was nothing that Jo hated more than moving someplace new. It had only ever brought unnecessary stress to her life; the awkwardness of being the new employee at work, the loneliness of having no friends. It was awful. Sure, she’d gotten used to the constant shuffling around back when there was nothing left to lose by leaving. She’d never had a home before then; a place where she belonged. That is, however, until arriving in Seattle. Alex taught her to appreciate the city as more than just a place of work and living. It was a place of familiarity, relationships, and comfort. And yet, she left. She packed her bags, booked a flight, and never looked back. That was almost three years ago now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took some time for Jo to accept someplace new as her home. She’d been searching endlessly, accepting short-term jobs all over the country as she sought out the right fit, unwilling to settle on just anything. Her children deserved to grow up feeling the same love and affection that had existed in Seattle. She wanted them to be surrounded by dependable people who truly cared for them, she just didn’t want to go back there to get it. Jo needed a fresh start, a home away from the life she’d had before. And she was happy to have finally found it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much for having her today,” Jo smiled gratefully at the man across the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries,” he smiled back. “We had fun, didn’t we Scarlett?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo beamed as her daughter came flying round the corner at the mention of her name, excited to see her mom after a long day apart. Scarlett had always struggled to make friends, being on the shyer side, so Jo was ecstatic when the little girl had come home from school the day before begging for a playdate with a new student. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so happy to hear that,” Jo ruffled her daughter's hair. “I’ll have to have Raegan round at my place soon,” she looked between her daughter’s new friend and the girl's dad, Wes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She would love that,” he helped Scarlett gather her things together, shoving a bright pink tutu into a small book bag. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you don’t need to do that,” Jo tried to take over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nonsense, you’ve got your hands full,” Wes gestured to the younger boy sitting on Jo’s hip, doing a double take as he looked at his face properly. “Wow, sorry, it’s just the resemblance is uncanny. He looks exactly like Raegan’s older brother did as a baby.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Jo chuckled curiously, “don’t be fooled by the smile, he’s usually a lot grumpier than this. Isn’t that right, Asher?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well then he’s even more like Harlan,” Wes searched through his phone for a photograph, holding up one that looked like the spitting image of Asher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo’s mouth dropped in shock, not expecting her son and the older boy to look so similar. “Wow, did you clone my kid?” she joked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mine came first,” Wes laughed. “He looks different now, though. Harlan hit a bit of a growth spurt last year. So, how old is your little guy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s two,” Scarlett answered on Jo’s behalf. “Asher is my baby brother,” she announced proudly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It warmed Jo’s heart everytime Scarlett showed her little brother off. She loved him, so much, and they were inseparable. But it hadn’t always been that way. Before the adoption was finalised, Scarlett had struggled with the idea of Asher ‘growing inside mommy’ but her living with somebody else as a baby. It’s tough enough trying to raise two kids on your own, let alone one biological child and another non-biological. However, little moments like these, when Scarlett’s true admiration for her brother shone through, made it all worth it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I bet you’re the best big sister,” Wes beamed down at Scarlett, handing her the rest of her things that he’d finished gathering up. “Maybe you can teach Raegan everything you know since she’s going to be getting her own baby brother soon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re expecting!” Jo grinned, wide eyed. “That’s so exciting, congratulations.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much,” Wes nodded appreciatively. “Ah, here’s Harlan,” he looked towards the front door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo turned around, curious to see the Asher double in person. There was something about the boy that struck her as familiar, and it wasn’t because he looked like her son. There was something else about him that she’d seen before, but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. That is, of course, until his mom followed him in behind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her breath hitched in her chest, unable to release. Three years. It had been three, very hard and very long, years since she last saw the woman in the door. Alex had just left, she’d just quit her job, and there she was, standing by Jo’s car in the parking lot. It was the first and the last time they’d ever seen one another, not much more than a simple hello and goodbye exchanged in the few minutes that they conversed, but Jo would recognise her anywhere. It was Alex’s sister. It was Amber. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amber paused in the doorway, furrowing her brow at the unexpected visitor in her home. She recognised her immediately as the ex-wife of her brother that she’d met only briefly all those years ago. They hadn’t gotten the opportunity to meet during the happy times, life and work always getting in the way, but the moment she heard about Alex’s disappearing act to Kansas, Amber wasted no time checking up on Jo. She took the red-eye to Seattle and waited three hours in the parking lot until the woman who matched the person on her brother's wedding photograph appeared. They hadn’t spoken for long, neither one knew the right words to say, but it was a conversation that will stick with her forever because it was the day she realised how truly strong and resilient Jo was. She hadn’t been expecting to ever see her again, let alone in her own house talking to Wes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo?” Amber closed the door slowly behind her, keeping an eye glued to the woman standing before her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you two know each other?” Wes looked between his wife and Jo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve met briefly,” Jo smiled kindly, hoping neither Wes or Amber asked follow up questions, desperate to get on her way home. The last thing she needed was for Alex to be brought back into her life after she’d finally found peace someplace new. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand,” Amber narrowed her glance further, “what are you doing here?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo is here to pick Scarlett up,” Wes explained, completely baffled by Amber’s reaction to the woman standing next to him. “She’s her mom.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a daughter?” Amber tilted her head, curiously, looking down towards the smaller girl beside Jo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Jo nodded, reaching down to hug Scarlett closer to her. The connection between the two was instantly identifiable, her face buried into Jo’s hip as she ran fingers through her sandy soft waves. She was definitely her daughter, the bond they had together was undeniable, but what confused Amber was that the girl was clearly too old to have been born after Alex left. That wasn’t the biggest question on her mind, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her attention very quickly turned to the younger boy hugged to Jo’s other hip, his tiny body cuddling against her tightly. His face was hidden by locks of curly brown hair, but his excitable giggles could be heard as he reacted to the silly faces Amber’s daughter, Raegan, was pulling at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And a son too? Amber stepped forward, eager to get a closer look at the boy’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, honey, this is Asher,” Wes spoke. “Take a look. Don’t you think he looks identical to our Harlan as a baby?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amber froze, the look on Jo’s face saying everything she needed to know about the young child in her arms. She didn’t even need to look at the boy to see that he was a Karev through and through. And yet, it still hit her like a truck when she laid her eyes on Asher for the first time. The adorable dimples either side of his mouth, naturally raised eyebrows, and chocolate coloured eyes, all screamed Alex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he does look a lot like Harlan,” Amber stuttered. “He’s got the Karev eyes,” she added, getting herself all the confirmation she needed when she saw Jo wince painfully at her words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want Scarlett to go home,” Raegan whined, interrupting the tense silence lingering in the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You will see her at school tomorrow,” Wes reassured his daughter. “But she needs to go be with her mommy now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually,” Amber disagreed, “why doesn’t she stay for just a little bit longer while I talk to Jo?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo shook her head at Amber’s suggestion, dreading the conversation to come. “It’s getting late, so I think we should get going. I can text Wes to plan another meet up for the girls,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, Jo. Ten minutes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have I missed something here?” Wes stared skeptically at Jo and Amber. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo is who I went to go and see a few years ago in Seattle,” Amber sighed heavily, hoping her husband would put two and two together on his own, but the confusion painted across his face said otherwise. “You know, after I found out about my brother going to Kansas,” she reiterated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wes whipped his head back to Jo, going wide-eyed as he shifted his attention between Asher and her. The resemblance he had with his own son suddenly made so much sense. “I’ll go to play a game with the kids in the other room,” he offered, leading Scarlett and Raegan away. “Why don’t I take Asher too?” Wes took the baby out of Jo’s embrace, not without a bit of extra convincing first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither one had spoken since the room had emptied around them, both staring at each other hesitantly. Jo liked Amber, and she knew that from the brief encounter they’d had all those years ago, but it didn’t change the fact that she was Alex’s sister, and that scared Jo incredibly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You disappeared,” Amber mumbled softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You vanished. We looked for you, everyone looked for you,” Amber bit her lip, nervously. “Have you been here this whole time?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jo shocked her head. “I’ve been taking odd jobs here and then but I’ve been here for about six months now. Why would you care where I was?” she wrinkled her nose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex moved back to Seattle. He wanted to see you, Jo. I think he wanted to try and work things out with you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo blinked slowly, taking a breath before speaking again. “Then I’m happy I left,” she said coldly, too angry to care about filtering her emotions. “I have no interest in involving him in my life again. It was his choice to leave, not mine, his. He has to learn to live with that choice.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo…” Amber maintained eye contact as she closed the gap between herself and Jo. “Izzie lied. The twins aren’t Alex’s.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo’s stomach sunk, nausea welling inside as guilt overwhelmed her. She hated Alex, with every fibre of her being, but her heart broke at the thought of him missing out on his son’s life because he was trying to do right by two children that weren’t truly his own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was living in Kansas doing everything he possibly could to make up for lost time with the twins, and then, out of nowhere, their real dad turned up. That was two and half years ago,” Amber looked at Jo sympathetically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So he wasn’t even living in Kansas anymore when Asher was born,” tears welled in Jo’s eyes. “I didn’t have to do it alone?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not too late to tell him. I can help you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Jo’s lip quivered. “It is too late. I don’t want Alex in my life.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tumblr: @mac-andcheeses</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. chapter two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jo and Amber get used to being in one another’s lives</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>didn’t plan to post this til tuesday but was feeling generous so here’s an early gift from me to you. my ask box and dms are still disabled on tumblr but i’ll turn my non-AO3 member comments back on so if you wish, you can let me know your thoughts about this chapter below! 🥰</p><p>as always, enjoy xo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo was running up the sidewalk, Asher throwing a tantrum in the stroller as an overly cheery Scarlett skipped behind. It was clear that she’d had a hectic morning. The hair was thrown into a messy top knot, unbrushed and frizzy, and her shirt had food stains down it. She cursed under her breath when the school bell rang as she was approaching the entrance, rushing to get Scarlett’s belongings together before she waved her off to class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” Amber nodded, greeting a flustered looking Jo at the school gates. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes at the blonde, not in the slightest bit excited to see her for the second day in a row. “Seriously?” she whined, simultaneously leaning down to hush an agitated Asher. “I like you, Amber, I really do. But I have boundaries and this crosses them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Our daughters go to school together, Jo. I’m here to drop her off, and that’s it,” Amber held her arms up in defence. “I think us seeing one another is unavoidable.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have dropped Scarlett off at school every single morning for the past two weeks since Harlan and Raegan started here and not once have I seen anybody but Wes. Are you expecting me to believe that you being here today has nothing to do with me?” Jo stared back in disbelief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amber huffed, frowning guiltily. “I didn’t get to say everything I wanted to yesterday.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m late for work,” Jo grumbled, visibly annoyed. “We barely made it out the house this morning with all our limbs intact, not to mention Scarlett is about to be late to class. I have a meeting at the hospital in fifteen minutes and still need to get Asher checked into daycare before then. So, believe it or not, I can’t stop for a chat.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take him!” Amber perked up, ecstatic at the opportunity to spend more time with her nephew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, no,” Jo laughed, bitterly, “absolutely not.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please. I won’t tell Alex, I promise,” Amber pleaded. “Let me take Asher for the day, and I’ll even pick Scarlett up after school too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo stiffened, the mention of her ex-husbands name numbing her up and down. She wanted to say no, to walk away and never think of the man who broke her heart again, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t because what she was being offered, the chance for her son to know his family, was everything she’d ever wanted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s allergic to strawberries and bananas but other than that he’ll eat practically anything. He’ll try and tell you that he doesn’t like something but he’s almost always fibbing to get himself a cookie, just make it clear that he’s got no other options. When in doubt, there’s a whole collection of Asher approved snacks in the side pocket of his bag,” Jo rambled. “And please, I beg of you, give him a nap after lunch but don’t let him sleep longer than an hour or two.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Got it, got it and got it,” Amber beamed enthusiastically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t kill my kid, Amber!” Jo yelled, already running back the way she came. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mommy is so dramatic, isn’t she?” Amber knelt down, grinning at the two year old in the stroller. “Are you ready for a fun day with Auntie Ambs?” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<strong>***</strong><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>She was starting to have regrets as the day went on, wondering if she rushed things when she let Amber take Asher for the day. But, when she’d received the photograph of the two doing arts and crafts together, she felt a lot more confident in her decision. It was strange to go the entire work day without seeing him, with Jo almost always stopping for a cuddle once or twice a shift, but the reassurance of knowing that Asher was going to grow up having a relationship with his family made up for it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look who's here!” Amber smiled from ear to ear, pointing at the driveway as Jo pulled in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, my babies,” Jo shut the car door behind her, walking onto the front lawn where Amber and the children were playing. “How was school, Scarlett?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” she shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Clearly, mom, it was the most exciting thing ever,” Amber joked sarcastically. “You’re lucky, all I got from Raegan was a mumble.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t little kids supposed to like school?” Jo whined, collapsing on the grass next to Amber. “Life is fun. It’s all sunshine and rainbows and everyone’s had a full night's sleep.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hard day?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something like that,” Jo looked over at a giggly Asher, her body relaxing at the sight of his joyful exterior. “He looks like he’s had a really fun day.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course he did, he’s been hanging out with his favourite Aunt,” Amber smirked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo wasn’t expecting it to affect her as much as it did. Her son had an ‘Aunt’. He actually had somebody other than herself and Scarlett to call family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Jo drummed her fingers against her knee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to say that because you think it’s the right thing to do. I know I sort of backed you into a corner this morning.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo exhaled, a grin spreading across her face. “No, I mean it, Asher is lucky to have you. Scarlett too. They deserve to have more people in their life that care about them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My mom told me a lot about you, after she visited you in Seattle, she couldn’t stop raving about you. She told me how amazing you are but Jo, the way Scarlett speaks about you, the way she tells people how her mommy saved her, is beautiful. How old was she when you first met her?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Around Asher’s age, a little older.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amber nodded and smiled, looking up at the three kids skipping around on the grass together. She wanted to ask about Alex, somehow convince Jo to tell him about Asher, but she was nervous to broach the subject again. “Do you want to talk about him?” Amber spoke hesitantly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jo drew a long breath in, sighing on release. “Not yet.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<strong>***</strong><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The following weeks and months brought Jo some of the best days she’d had since leaving Seattle three years prior. Scarlett was finally coming out of her shell, warming up to new people and making new friends with Raegan at her side, and Asher was growing inseparable with his Aunt. It was everything she’d envisioned for her future, minus the man she still couldn’t bear to bring herself to think about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the third Sunday in a row that herself and Amber’s family had spent together, and Jo loved it. Harlan had taken a liking to little Asher, chasing him around the backyard with the soccer ball. It was something small, yet so beautiful. Her son had a cousin to laugh and play with, a cousin who looked exactly like him. That was what Jo had never gotten growing up; somebody she shared resemblance with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re getting along so well,” Wes observed from the living room where everybody else was sitting, Scarlett and Raegan watching a movie on the tv. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s amazing,” Jo beamed. “Harlan is so gentle with him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If only he was that nice to his sister,” Amber snorted, moving her hand over her growing bump. “Maybe he’ll get on better with the new baby.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s not get our hopes up,” Wes chuckled. “However, that is how it’s meant to be, isn’t it? Brothers and sisters fight and squabble but cousins are best friends. That’s what it was like with my family, at least. Didn’t you fight with your brothers?” he turned to Amber, immediately regretting his words when he saw her smile drop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo bowed her head, sensing the tension in the room. She’d successfully avoided any discussion of Alex since the day on Amber’s front lawn, but it was getting harder and harder to tip-toe around it as time went on. It was inevitable for him to come up every now and then, he was Amber’s family after all, but Jo just wished that wasn’t the case. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Wes apologised. “Both of you,” he looked between Jo and Amber and the uneasy expressions on their faces. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go check up on Asher,” Jo rose from her seat on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, stay! We can see the boys from here,” Amber objected. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo gave a dismissive wave of her hand, not keen on the idea of talking about the man who left her. “I’ll be back soon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amber went to stand up in protest but slumped back down into her seat when she felt Wes’ hand placed gently against her back, her shoulder slouching in disappointment. “How much longer do we have to keep this up until I’m the bad guy for not telling Alex?” she whispered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give her time,” Wes leaned into her. “You told me yourself; you love Jo, so trust her to do the right thing. She’ll do the right thing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope so because if you think Alex is going to be mad, my mother is going to be ten times worse. The only reason she’s not spending every waking moment of this pregnancy by my side like she did with Harlan and Raegan is because she’s keeping my miserable brother company.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It will work out,” Wes ran circles over Amber’s stomach. “I just know it will.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that, the oven timer sounded from the kitchen, signalling the end of their conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was no secret that Jo was awful at cooking, with Amber right there with her. But, Wes was more than capable of pulling off a five-star meal. He always put something amazing on the table. The good food was the initial reason Jo had even agreed to spending their Sundays together. Asher would eat pretty much anything put in front of him but Scarlett was not as easily satisfied. She was constantly complaining about how much Jo burnt the dinner or resorted to canned soup. Wes, on the other hand, was guaranteed to deliver something gourmet. Even so, as time went on, Jo’s regular visits became about more than just a yummy meal. She enjoyed having a family again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When’s your next day off?” Amber asked Jo on her way out the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On Tuesday,” Jo said, swirling around to face the taller man beside them. “Actually, Wes, would you mind putting Scarlett and Asher in the car for me while I talk to Amber?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, sure,” Wes scrunched his nose up, visibly confused but willing to play along. “Why doesn’t Raegan and Harlan come help me, too?” he encouraged the other two children to follow him down the porch steps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Amber inched forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you watch the kids for me on Tuesday?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course. Are you in need of a break?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo looked away, all eye contact going to the floor as she fiddled with the ring on her finger. “No,” she replied, nervously. “I’m going to Seattle. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tumblr: @mac-andcheeses</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. chapter three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex gets a visitor in Seattle</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>got a lot of shit coming up so won’t be able to update next week so thought i might as well give you this chapter now &lt;3 </p><p>wish everyone well x enjoy this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>The day had started off relatively smooth; every surgery going to plan and zero unexpected changes to the schedule. Alex was more than grateful for it, given that it didn’t happen often, but he also knew that it wouldn’t last long. The calm always came before the storm. He just didn’t expect it to come in the form of his ex-wife. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo was sitting at his desk, her back to the door, when Alex walked into his office at the end of the day. He’d known it was her from the first second that he’d laid eyes on her, no doubt in his mind that it was Jo. It was a scene he saw multiple times in the past; Jo sitting in his office at the end of a long shift, waiting for him. He just didn’t expect to live it again, let alone see her once more. And yet, sure enough, it was Jo who he saw when she whipped her head around to look at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to say,” he stared at Jo in shock, mouth agape. “Hi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex,” she nodded, kindly, a smile hidden behind her eyes. “You look,” Jo paused, looking him over from head to toe. “Well, you look exactly the same,” she chuckled, quietly. “You look good.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the first time they’d seen one another since Jo had dropped Alex off at the airport three years prior with a promise from him to see each other again soon. Three years since Jo had received the letter saying that he wouldn’t be coming back to her after all. Three years since she’d packed her bags, sold the loft, and booked the first flight out of Seattle. And three years since she’d cried herself to sleep on the bathroom floor of a hotel room clutching a positive pregnancy test to her chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look better,” Alex smirked just enough to send a chill down Jo’s spine, the painful nostalgia hitting her like a tonne of bricks. “But you always did, look better than me I mean. You’re perfect, Jo.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Jo was quick to cut him off, desperate to avoid any further declaration of appreciation from him. She used to love the way he would stare at her in awe and amazement. Alex would treat every moment together like he was seeing her for the very first time, always showering her with compliments. But things had changed; she wasn’t his wife anymore. The only person who either of them needed to be concerned about anymore was Asher. She was going to let him be there for their son, but there was nothing left between them. “Please, Alex, let’s just keep this to the point. I need to talk.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I looked for you,” Alex said with a downcast gaze, walking with plodding movements to sit behind the desk. “Everyone did.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo bit her lip, fidgeting with her fingernails nervously. “I know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Izzie lied,” Alex’s voice broke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know that too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His head jerked up, deeply hurt to realise that Jo had known he wasn’t in Kansas all along. She had known, and yet she still stayed away. “How?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just do,” Jo spoke softly, anxiety swelling in her chest. “I found out a few months ago.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that why you’re here?” Alex asked, a hint of optimistic to his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Alex,” she shook her head, unwilling to entertain the idea of her coming back to the man who left her. “We’re finished. We were done the moment you sent me that letter,” she clarified, trying her best to remain headstrong, despite the guilt of keeping Alex from Asher starting to overwhelm her. “I’m here because I need to tell you something important and I need you to try and be understanding.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He furrowed his brows, visibly confused by her closed body position and clenched jaw. “You can tell me anything. Just relax,” he reached across the desk, placing a compassionate hand on top of hers. “Take a breath and talk to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The comfort of his skin against hers was reassuring, but the glare of his anguished eyes were too hard to bear. Jo’s eyes turned red with tears, her voice cracking as she mumbled rapid, fevered apologies. “You’re going to hate me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never,” he objected. “That’s not possible.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She took fast, shallow breaths, reaching into her pocket to retrieve the square photograph she’d hidden in there. “Here,” she handed it across the desk to Alex. “This is why I’m here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex took the photo in his hands, peering intently down at the young boy staring up at him. “I don’t understand,” he said, dazed and bewildered, shifting his gaze back to the woman sitting across from him. “Why did you bring me a photo of Amber’s kid? This is Harlan.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No it’s not, Alex,” Jo blinked the tears out of her eyes. “Look again. That’s not Amber’s little boy, it’s mine. That’s my son.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex’s entire posture stiffened, his muscles turning rigid inside him. He suddenly became aware of his own heart beat, the boom sounding loudly in his chest. The thumps sent shock waves through his body. He hadn’t looked at the photo properly the first time around, his eyes only brushing over the boy for the few seconds it took for Alex to conclude it was his nephew. But, given the latest revelation, his eyes were quick to fall back to the young child grinning ever so cheerfully. He was staring without blinking, mesmerised by the beauty presented to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nerves started to get the better of him and, with the unconscious twitching of his fingers, the picture dropped to the wooden desk. The Karev features were shining through Asher’s face brightly, leaving no room for any remaining subtlety about who his father was. He was definitely Alex’s kid. Still, the more he examined the boy, the more and more Alex also noticed the resemblance he shared with Jo. He was truly the perfect combination of the both of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How old is he?” Alex’s asked with a soft and shaky voice, a strong sense of halt and disbelief coming through as well. It was a simple question, one he could easily figure out himself with a couple of calculations, but it was necessary for clarification. He needed to know for certain that the little boy in the photograph was his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s two and a half,” Jo blinked slowly, looking away to gaze out of the large glass window to her left. “His name is Asher.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to say, how to respond, so he just nodded instead. The feeling of disorientation, dizziness and euphoria all took over, consuming him. He had a son; he and Jo had a child together. A shaky smile appeared across his face as the surprise sunk in, his eyes slowly lifting to meet hers. They were even more red than before, swollen even, but there was a sense of relief behind them. She was happy to have finally told him the truth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not mad,” Alex was quick to reassure Jo, becoming increasingly aware of the anxiety radiating off her. “I’m just quiet because I’m surprised, that’s all. Please, tell me everything there is to know,” he prompted her to explain. “Start from the beginning. I want to know about Asher.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, he’s yours. But I’m sure you already guessed that,” Jo dropped her hand to rest on the desk, her finger tips curling inwards as she breathed outwards and a tense silence filled the room. “I shouldn’t have kept him from you,” her head hung in shame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, you shouldn’t have,” Alex grumbled bitterly, although quickly regretted his words when he saw the guilt painted across Jo’s face. “Let me try that again,” he chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. “I wish you would have told me, to have allowed me to know my son, our son. But, I also don’t blame you for not wanting me involved. I did wrong by you, Jo. I left you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I had known, if I had been told about how the situation with Izzie ended up going, I would have come back to Seattle. You would have been in Asher’s life.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you go?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo sighed heavily, blinking slowly as she tried to find the right words to say. “Do you know how hard it was for me after you left? I thought I could do it, I thought I was strong enough to move on. Meredith got me out of bed when I wanted to do nothing else but curl up in a ball and cry. She convinced me to go back to work. Still, it didn’t help. Being surrounded by people who did nothing but pity me all day was excruciatingly painful. I needed a fresh start, Alex. I needed to not be reminded of you every single day of my life.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you know you were pregnant when you left?” Alex fiddled with the photo of Asher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jo objected sharply. “I had my suspicions, even before you left, but I pushed it aside. I didn’t take the test until I vomited on an intern's shoes on the second day of my new job.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex laughed, rolling his eyes and smirking. “I would have loved to have seen that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t pretty,” she let an unwanted smile slip out.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, where is he now?” Alex asked hesitantly, uncertain about how the quick-tempered brunette was going to react. “Can I meet him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah-um-” Jo stuttered, struggling to talk. She wanted to avoid the recent reunion with Amber coming to light, afraid of how it would over complicate the situation and mess things up for Asher. However, her thoughts were quickly cut short when a familiar voice sounded from behind her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oi, Karev!” Meredith Grey swung the office door open. “Have you seen-” she immediately froze, feet glued to the floor, gawking at and locking eyes with Jo. The two had seen each other on more than one occasion in the time since Jo had left. They had met up at medical conferences, airport bars, and random cafes on the outskirts of Washington. But it was never in Seattle, and the visits never lasted long. In fact, it was Meredith who’d helped Jo through her adoption process with Scarlett. Even so, despite the occasional run-in, Meredith knew nothing about Asher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Mer,” she greeted the woman she’d once called Medusa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo?” she scrunched up her nose, shooting a befuddled glare Jo’s way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” Alex snapped, frustrated at the interruption. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meredith’s attention darted between the two other pairs of eyes in the room, attempting to understand what exactly it was that she’d walked in on. “It’s okay, I can come back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Jo jumped out of her seat, hastily reaching for a pen and a small pad of paper to write her phone number down on. “Take this,” she handed the note to Alex. “I can hang around until tomorrow morning so go attend to whatever problem you have and give me a call when you’re finished. I’ll wait.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had only planned to visit for an hour or two, give Alex the news and then make her way back to the hotel to rent an overpriced movie and kill some time before her flight. Jo definitely didn’t expect to see anyone but Alex during her time at Grey Sloan either. Although, from the looks on everyone's faces, half the hospital staff had noticed she was there, and they weren’t exactly subtle about it. There was a sea of curious and pitiful glances from every direction, following her all the way out the door and into the parking lot. It was the exact same thing that had driven her away from Seattle just three years earlier, but she wasn’t going to let that happen again. Alex deserved to be in Asher’s life and, most importantly, Asher deserved to have Alex in his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what is this?” the familiar voice returned, joining Jo on the bench outside the hospital. “I get it; you’re obsessed with me, but we were due to meet up soon anyway. You didn’t need to come all the way here,” Meredith grinned, jokingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh ha-ha,” Jo rolled her eyes. “I actually came to speak to Alex, not you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get that, but I don’t understand why,” Meredith swivelled to be face to face with Jo, eyeing her curiously. “You practically begged me – knees to the ground, hands together, begged me – to never tell him anything about you, and I delivered on that promise. He doesn’t know a single about you, Jo, let alone anything about Scarlett. I had to lie to him and say I was visiting an old friend in Boston when I really came to help you during the adoption process. Alex thinks Scar is my niece!” Meredith shook her head dramatically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate that,” Jo exhaled. “I really do, Mer. But, you also didn’t tell me that he’d come back to Seattle. You must have known that something like that would have changed things for me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meredith tilted her head, confused. “I thought you had well and truly moved on, made a new life for yourself. I called you, asked you what you were doing, and you were so excited to tell me about finally getting your foster-care license. You were getting your first placement that week. I didn’t think it was appropriate to tell you. I didn’t think you would have wanted to know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t getting my first placement that week,” Jo drummed her nails against the bench seat below. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, you definitely were. I remember,” Meredith replied confidently. “It was about a week after Alex returned, I was debating whether or not to tell you and I called you up to test the waters. Except, when you got onto video chat, I saw the bassinet next to your bed in the background and you told me that you were expecting a baby. It was way before Scarlett came into the picture.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Meredith…” Jo lifted her face, eyes welling with water, to meet Merediths. “I didn’t take in a foster baby that week; I had a baby myself. I gave birth.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Meredith jerked her head back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I panicked when you saw the bassinet during our call and so I told you that I was taking on a new placement because I wasn’t ready for anyone to know yet,” Jo wiped the tears from her cheek. “But I had a baby, Mer. A little boy. His name is Asher.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meredith thought back to the conversation between Alex and Jo that she’d walked in on earlier, their sombre attitudes suddenly making a lot of sense. The phone call they were referring to had only taken place about six months after Alex first left to Kansas. Meaning, little Asher wasn’t just Jo’s child, but he was Alex’s too. “So that’s why you’re here? You and Alex have a child together.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I came to tell him,” Jo nodded. “He deserved to know, even if it is two and a half years too late.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The baby’s room in your old apartment,” Meredith remembered back to the first time she’d met Scarlett, “that was his room wasn’t it? Not a room for foster babies like you told me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that was his room. I never actually took in any babies. The only reason I even ended up with Scarlett is that she was a patient at the hospital. Apart from her, every other kid I took in was over five.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a son…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have a son,” Alex confirmed Meredith's words, giving both women a fright as he hovered behind the bench. “And he’s perfect,” he added, passing his friend the same photograph Jo had given him earlier. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god!” Meredith shrieked, not expecting the young boy to look so much like his father. “He’s certainly a Karev,” laughter erupted as she processed the tiny cheek dimples on Asher’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were going to call me?” Jo changed the subject, making no effort to hide her annoyance at Alex for ignoring her request. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did!” he defended. “I called you four times, but you never picked up. Just as well I saw you and Meredith sitting out here on my way to get a coffee from the cart,” he pointed to the van beside them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Jo rustled through her bag, mumbling colourful frustrations under her breath in the process. “That doesn’t make any sense,” she started to say, although with her hands quickly on the phone, she realised that silent mode had accidentally been enabled. “Oh crap,” she exclaimed, loudly. “I need to call the babysitter back. Somethings wrong with Asher.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tumblr: @mac-andcheeses</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. chapter four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex follows Jo home</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm tired, hungry and grumpy but at least i have some pre-written content to post for you guys. felt like the world needed this today. enjoy xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo thought she knew what it was like to be scared; to be so fearful that your mind and your body detached and acted independently, the shock driving your every movement. She’d felt the rush of worry flood over her whenever Paul’s voice would raise slightly and experienced the way her body would go limp, while somehow also stiff, with panic as he raised his clenched fist above her. It was terrifying. And then there’s the unease, anxiety and tension she’d felt the day she realised Alex wasn’t coming home. The unbearable feeling of loneliness and betrayal lingering inside her, the true epitome of fear and worry. However, it was still nothing compared to how she felt when she heard Amber’s voice through the phone. It brought a whole new form of distress because she was no longer concerned about just herself, she had another life to care for, a life that was in jeopardy. Asher was sick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so so sorry, Jo! I don’t know how I let this happen” Amber spoke through sobs, frazzled and disheveled. “I was really careful about keeping everything both separate and clean in the kitchen so that I could avoid just this but I forgot to tell Harlan about Asher’s allergies and well-” her eyes fell to the small boy huddled in her arms, “he ate one of the banana pancakes I always make myself for breakfast.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo’s heart broke at the sight of her baby lying fast asleep on his aunt’s lap, covered from head to toe in rashes and with an IV catheter attached to the back of his tiny hand. It was far better than the picture she’d had in her head the entire flight home, when she’d been imagining the worse, but it was still tough on the eyes to see. It was always a hard pill to swallow whenever Scarlett or Asher was hurt. They knew their mom was a doctor, who fixed many people every day, and yet there were times when even Jo couldn’t help them feel better. Sometimes things went beyond her control. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had expected for it to be emotionally draining and hard to see Asher in the hospital, a place Jo wished her son would never end up, so it was no surprise when a few tears fell after she saw him. However, what she hadn’t expected was for the anguish and guilt on Amber’s felt to upset her quite so much. Jo had snapped at her on the phone, providing zero opportunity for Amber to explain herself, but it was only out of initial panic, she wasn’t truly mad at her friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, look at me,” Jo demanded Amber’s eyes on her. “This was an accident, okay? You don’t need to blame yourself because it’s just one of those things that happen. I’m not mad at all. In fact, I’m very grateful that you acted so fast to save my baby’s life,” she smiled, warmly, sitting down beside the blonde woman and her dimple cheeked Karev look-alike. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But your son almost died because of me,” Amber cried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jo was quick to respond, “my baby lived because he was with you. Asher is lucky to have such an amazing aunt in his life. What did the doctor say?” she ran her index finger over Asher’s cheek, now sitting in the chair next to Amber. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’ve been giving him oxygen to get his breathing under control and lots of fluids as well. His rash was causing a bit of trouble too so they’ve given him some loratadine and it appears to be improving. They want to keep him here for observation overnight but the doctors don’t seem that concerned so I think it’s only to be on the safe side. I can watch Scarlett for the night so that you can stay here with Asher but I completely understand if you would feel more comfortable with somebody else-” Amber rambled, but was soon cut off by Jo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be ridiculous. Scarlett loves her sleepovers with Raegan and she’s always going on about how good Wes’ cooking is, and apparently you make a mean bowl of popcorn too. I never let her have it at home because I’m too lazy to pick up the million and one corn kernels that end up down the side of the couch cushions and on the floor afterwards.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, absolutely, of course. I’ll be sure to make lots and lots of popcorn,” Amber breathed a sigh of relief, calmed by Jo’s lack of animosity towards her. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Anything at all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo exhaled, looking between Asher and the ground below her. “Just one thing,” she stuttered, “please don’t say anything about me to Alex. I know you both have grown closer these past few years, and I would really rather you didn’t mention me or Asher if he happened to call you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amber’s face tensed, eyes widening with realisation. “Oh my god, yes, you went to see Alex. I completely forgot in all the chaos of things. So, he knows? Alex knows about Asher.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He knows,” Jo nodded, still not able to look Amber in the eyes directly. “But we didn’t get much further than ‘surprise you have a son’ because then I got the call from you. I know he won’t be willing to leave it there, though, so he’ll be desperate to reach out again soon, I just need a little bit of time to screw my head on properly first.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell him it’s not my place to talk about it if he asks, but I’m hoping he doesn’t because he’s going to murder me if he finds out that I already knew. Alex isn’t exactly easily forgiving.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mommy?” Asher stirred in Ambers arms, rubbing his eyes. His large chocolate pupils staring up at Jo lovingly, a silent request for a hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey there, Ashie,” Jo picked him up and wrapped her arms around him. “Mommy is here and she's not going anywhere. I love you so much.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amber took that as her cue to leave. “I’ll leave you be,” she whispered, trying not to ruin the moment, ruffing the curly hair on Asher’s head on the way out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should have brought Scarlett with me,” Amber grumbled, clawing away at a pile of stuffed toys in the corner of Asher’s room. “How many fucking blue dinosaurs does one child need?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said a bad word mommy,” Raegan piped up from the corner, a large smirk spread across her face.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Amber groaned, not in the mood to argue with her daughter for the tenth time that morning. “You told me I didn’t need to wake Scarlett up because you would know which toy Auntie Jo needed for Asher. Can you help me or not?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s the stegosaurus,” Reagan sighed, swinging her arms dramatically as she walked to stand by her mother’s side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Raegan?” Amber rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what that is!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This one,” the younger girl bent down to pick up one of the many blue dinosaur toys off the ground, placing it in Amber’s hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, thank god,” Amber sprung up from the floor, dragging Raegan by the hand towards the front door. “I already put her kid in the hospital, and I didn’t need to lose his favourite comforter too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mommy!” Raegan tried to bring attention to herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not now, sweetie. We’re running late.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But Mommy,” Raegan whined. “I-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can talk in the car,” Amber cut her off, swinging the front door open to reveal a figure occupying the porch on the other side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was facing the street, his back to Amber, still she was able to identify him immediately. His greyed out jeans and tattered jacket were the same ones he’d worn the last time they’d seen each other, plus the same hairstyle he’d sported for years. This was her brother. The man standing before her was Alex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His sunken shoulders and the way his hands were tucked away in his pockets said everything she needed to know about the way he was feeling. He was nervous, agitated even, tensed up with anxiety. And he was about to be furious when he realised it wasn’t Jo answering the door, but his sister instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex…” Amber accidentally let slip, mouth agape. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I was trying to tell you,” Raegan muttered, sassily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex turned around at the mention of his name, doing a double take at the sight that met him, not expecting it in the slightest. “Amber?” he asked, shocked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uncle Alex!” Raegan smiled excitedly, shifting Alex’s gaze down to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey there munchkin,” his voice automatically softened at the sight of his niece grinning up at him. “How are you doing?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re in a rush, Alex,” Amber was desperate to escape. “Can we press pause on this conversation for a second.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you at Jo's house?” he was quick to interrogate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you find out where Jo lives?” she was equally as quick to defend herself. “You claimed that you didn’t know where she was for the past three years but, the second you hear about Asher, here you are.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex screwed his face up, taking a step back in initial confusion. “You know about Asher? You knew that I had a son.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your Ashie’s daddy?” Raegan interrupted the tense conversation, earning herself angry eyes and a shush from her mom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go wait by the car, Raegan,” Amber encouraged, strongly. “I only found out recently, Alex. I promise,” she lifted her gaze back to Alex. “I was the one who convinced Jo to go to Seattle and tell you about him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should have told me as soon as you found out!” his voice raised, the anger behind it evident. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And then what?” Amber matched his tone. “Jo would have been livid if I went behind her back to tell you before she was ready. This way, you only missed a few extra months of his life. Instead of what, the eighteen years you would have missed if I’d scared her away.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth. “I want to see her,” he stepped back towards the front door. “Is she home? I want to meet my son.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Asher’s in hospital. He, um, well he had an anaphylaxis reaction to bananas,” she saw the panic shoot through Alex. “But he’s okay. He’s going to be fine,” she reassured. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to examine him,” Alex demanded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I was there with him at the start and I promise you that you can trust the doctors completely. They were very attentive to us. That and Jo’s there now so he’s in safe hands.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Alex walked with a stroppy stomp to his step towards the car door, offering to help Raegan into her booster seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think you're doing?” Amber swatted him out of the way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Making the most of a bad situation,” he knocked her arm out of his way frustratedly. “I’m coming home with you until I can get ahold of Jo.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I stay with you, Amber? Oh sure, Alex, I’d love that. Thank you very much. You’re the best sister ever!” Amber sang sarcastically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off,” Alex glared, unimpressed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uncle Alex said a bad word as well,” Raegan got her final word in before all three piled into the car, Asher’s blue dinosaur thrown into the backseat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like the new place,” Alex dropped his bags in the doorway of Amber’s house, making himself at home on the couch almost immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to see you too,” Wes teased, handing Alex a cup of coffee. “Sorry that Amber had to run off so soon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. She had a very important blue dinosaur to deliver,” he smiled at the thought of Asher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s going to try and talk Jo into letting you visit tomorrow…” Wes trailed off, suddenly feeling uncomfortable as the smile dropped from Alex’s face. It was evident that the mention of Jo’s name had upset him greatly, stinging a sore that was sitting vulnerable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Momma?” Scarlett poked her head over the top of the arm rest, her attention also stolen with Jo’s mention. Her face froze with fear as she locked eyes with Alex, unsure of the intense look he was giving her back. Scarlett had been napping all afternoon, exhausted from the emotions that came with being away from Jo for so long. She had been so quiet, silently snoring away in the next room, that Wes had forgotten she was there at all, especially since Alex now had taken all his focus. That and Amber had shunned Raegan to her bedroom the second they’d gotten in the door, the young girl having earned herself a timeout on the car ride home. Hence, Scarlett's absence went under the radar easily when her usually louder counterpart wasn’t there to command everyone's eyes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was obvious that, like Wes, Alex was also taken aback by Scarlett's arrival. The confusion was written across his forehead, wrinkles and all. He knew Amber’s children fairly well, even spent a lot of time with Harlan and Raegan over the past few years, so he knew the fair headed girl didn’t belong. He tried his best to hide his initial curiosity, though, his hesitancy having clearly upset Scarlett. Her small shoulder jittered with anxiety, shyness painted across her face. She looked around frantically for any sign of Jo, desperate for her mother’s embrace as the tension in the room started to swallow her whole. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want my mommy,” she turned her bottom lip out, a comfort blanket hugged tightly to her chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, honey,” Wes inched to the edge of his seat, but was shocked to be interrupted by Alex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” he smiled at Scarlett, warmly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I just wasn’t expecting to see you there.” Alex went to kneel in front of the younger girl, taken immediate notice of the thin silver necklace round her neck, the same necklace he’d jokingly given to Jo after winning it at the beach on their honeymoon. She’d laughed and sworn to wear it for every special occasion, even sticking to that promise and bringing it out once or twice for formal dinners. He’d completely forgotten about it until now. “What have you got there?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scarlett’s hand rose to her neck, fiddling with the chain. “It’s my mommy’s,” she mumbled, timidly. “She said that when I’m big like her I’ll be allowed a real one. This one isn’t real, it’s just a play one.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took until then for Alex to finally click; the necklace, the young girl's insistence on seeing her mom right as he was talking about Jo; Scarlett was her kid. Jo had another kid; it wasn’t just her and Asher. She had an older daughter as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go see Raegan,” Wes broke the silence lingering in the room, offering Scarlett his hand to guide her back through the corridor. Alex had moved from the living room when Wes returned, standing off to the side at the dining room table, running his fingers over the painted canvas perched in the middle. It wasn’t a picture of anything in particular, instead only an array of colourful scribbles, but the words ‘Scarlett and Ashie, 2023’ were written along the bottom in Amber’s handwriting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah yeah, Asher loves arts and crafts. He frequently skives off of daycare to come and cause a mess at our house for the day, Amber being the key ringleader in that,” Wes chuckled. “Scarlett, on the other hand, not too much. We had to bribe her with a movie to agree to do that one.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scarlett…” Alex repeated the name softly, smiling. “It’s pretty.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Jo didn’t get to pick it. You know, since she was already two when was placed into Jo’s care,” Wes clarified, having noticed Alex’s brow furrow slightly. “But I agree, it’s a very pretty name. It suits her.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s adopted?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well yeah, you didn’t think Jo was just hiding a child from you as you were married and living together in Seattle, did you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Alex shook his head. “I meant, is Jo is her permanent legal guardian? Is she officially adopted?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes,” Wes confirmed. “She’s a Wilson, through and through, and she has the stubbornness to show it. Asher is a Karev in looks, the complete Harlan look-alike, but I haven't quite got his personality down yet. Scarlett, however, is just like Jo. So sweet and charismatic and bubbly, while also so extremely strong willed and set in her ways. Raegan is sassy and, well, difficult, and definitely takes the crown in wit. Although that’s purely because she’s so extroverted in nature. Scarlett is shy and slow to trust, making her seem rather calm and quiet to most. But, in reality, she’s the silliest and funniest little ball of energy I’ve ever met, with quite the spunk shining through.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uncle Wes,” Scarlett’s soft voice sounded from the doorway behind both men, making a perfectly timed reppearence. “Can you please help us? Elsa’s ice castle is broken again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Frozen Tower which I bought Raegan for christmas?” Alex tilted his head at Wes, glad to receive a nod. “I’ll do it then!” he offered, eagerly, already walking towards the kid’s room. “I built it the first time around so I’m sure I can do it again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex,” Wes grabbed his hand, pulling him back slightly. “I don’t know if that’s the best idea. What if Jo is uncomfortable with you hanging out with Scarlett?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be ridiculous,” he slipped his hand out of his brother-in-laws embrace. “I’m fixing a broken toy, not becoming best friends with the kid.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tumblr: @mac-andcheeses</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. chapter five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex meets his son for the first time</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my brain finally figured out an ending to this chapter (e.g. i whined to nat and she told me what to do) so i thought i might as well post it. updates may slow down from this point on as the plot develops because i'm yet to work out exactly how i want to write it but this is the only fic i'm writing right now so i should hopefully still post rather frequently. hope you enjoy xoxo </p><p>mac</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>It was no secret that Alex was great with kids, he was a pediatric surgeon after all, kids were his forte. He could have the sickest, most unwell child in the world, in a giggling fit within seconds of him entering the room. All he had to do was smile in their direction, and they trusted him more than any other doctor they’d met before. Kids just warmed to him, in a way that continues to surprise Alex, and it gave him a whole new outlook on younger children. The high-pitched squeals and constant chattering that used to annoy him, that used to make him yell and growl in frustration, now made him happy even when sad. That being said, it was also no secret that Alex liked his sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The years he’d spent living with Meredith had conditioned him to the early morning raucous that tended to come with having a child in the house, but he’d grown to favour the quiet mornings alone with just Jo in the loft more. Hence, when he’d been thrown back into the family life with the twins, he’d hated every single second of the first hour after he woke up. The noise, the chaos, the stress, was just not what he wanted to be surrounded by during his early morning coffee. He’d even gotten in a fight with Izzie on a few occasions for yelling at Eli or Alexis for being too loud, something he definitely didn’t miss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The twins were good kids, always so sweet and kind, but Alex never did feel fully connected to them. A part of him was always doubtful about their true paternity. But Asher, well, he hadn’t even met the kid yet and still, he loved him with every fibre of his being. He was his son, his and Jo’s, and he was perfect, and Alex couldn’t wait to hold him in his arms. All he had to do was get through breakfast first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you look so grumpy?” Amber teased, narrowing her eyes at a very tired looking Alex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because your children – correction, your daughter,” he shot Raegan a particularly dirty look, “is the loudest human to ever exist. It’s bad enough that I’m sleeping on an air bed in the playroom, but then Raegan had to go and jump on me before the sun had even risen this morning.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Alex?” Amber scoffed, rolling her eyes at her brother. “First off, I was the one who told her to go and wake you up. Secondly, there’s no need to be so dramatic. It wasn’t that early. I waited until after nine o’clock to avoid getting on your bad side, but it seems I should have waited until ten instead.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, mommy told me to!” Raegan defended, climbing onto the stall beside Alex at the breakfast bar, earning herself another set of his angry eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you tell him,” Amber laughed, grabbing a hairbrush and some elastic bands as she walked over to stand behind the younger girl. “Now, do you want one braid or two?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Alex jerked his head around, confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m clearly talking to Raegan,” Amber shook her head, muttering something away under her breath as she searched for the detangler bottle. “But, if you really want, I’m sure I can give you a pretty hairstyle too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Alex grumbled, unimpressed. “Where’s Scarlett? She was knackered last night,” he looked around the room for any sign of the small girl, having expected her to be side by side with Raegan when he walked into the kitchen. They hadn’t spent much time together the night before, only the couple of hours it took for Amber to get home, and yet, Alex already cared for Scarlett deeply. He already felt a hundred times more connected to her than he ever did to Eli and Alexis. There was something about her, something special, that just drew him to her. She was a ray of sunshine that he felt compelled to protect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo came by and picked her up this morning,” Amber explained. “What’s it to you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex frowned, visibly confused. “What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it’s none of your business what Scarlett is up to. She’s Jo’s daughter, not yours. Things are about to get really complicated between the two of you when it comes to Asher, and she’s already hesitant to let you back into her life, so don’t go throwing Scarlett in the mix there and scaring her off. Asher is your son, yes, but Scarlett belongs to only Jo. Don’t go messing things up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex huffed, shocked and bewildered to say the least. “Don’t be ridiculous, Amber. I’m not trying to be anything more to Scarlett than the nice friend of her mom who, might I add, is also the father of her little brother,” he sassed. “She’s a good kid. She deserves to have people she can rely on.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what makes you think you’re the right person for that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because he is fun Uncle Alex,” Raegan interrupted, her voice muffled by the breakfast shoved in her mouth. “Scarlett told me last that she wished she could have somebody like Alex. She likes him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See,” Alex smirked, confidently, “the kid loves me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His words caused Amber to sigh in defeat, less than pleased about Alex’s dismissal and disregard of her warnings. She wasn’t using Scarlett as a topic to mock and tease him, to make things more complicated than necessary in the name of some fun sisterly love, it really was best that Alex didn’t get involved in the young girl's life. Jo’s life was about to be unrooted enough as it was, and she was about to be faced with an emotionally heavy future of co-parenting, she didn’t deserve to have to consider Scarlett within that relationship too. “Just be careful, Alex. Watch yourself and stay in your lane. If not for Jo, then for Scarlett. That little girl didn’t know a stable home until she was two and a half. Two and a half years of her life spent feeling displaced and lonely. She had no parents around to love her, without a home to feel comfort in, and without somebody else in her life who she could trust and confide in. She’s a good kid; she really is, but there’s a reason why she’s so shy; she doesn’t feel easily accepted by strangers.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what? Are you worried that she’s not going to like me or something?” Alex laughed, amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Amber cut him off, her serious tone cold as ice. “I’m worried that you’re you, and she’s Scarlett, and so of course you’re going to grow inseparable. She’s going to love you and cling to every bit of comfort that you offer her and start to think of you as more than just Asher’s dad. But that’s not fair to her, is it? Because what’s going to happen when you don’t have the time or the interest to be that person for her anymore? What happens when all you have time for is Asher, your son, the kid you really chased Jo across the country for?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Alex reluctantly agreed through gritted teeth, disagreeing with her every word but having lost all patience to even entertain the idea of an argument first thing in the morning. “I’ll be careful, okay? I swear.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you still doing sitting there?” Amber changed the subject, equally as desperate to move on as Alex was. “I thought you’d be halfway to the shower by now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would I be having a shower?” Alex sniffed his underarm in curiosity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ew! Seriously!?” Amber screwed up her nose in disgust. “I meant, don’t you want to look presentable when you see Asher for the first time at, oh I don’t know, three o’clock today.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex paused, taken back, dropping the metal fork that he was holding onto the marble countertop, the clang it made echoing in his ear. “I get to see him!” he stuttered, wide eyed. “Jo is actually going to let me meet my son? I’m going to see Asher.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course she is. Jo went to Seattle and told you about Asher because she wants you in the kid’s life. She knows that not only do you deserve to be there for him, but he is also going to be better off by knowing you. Sure, the medical emergency with his allergies threw a bit of a spanner in the works but it didn’t change her view about you. Her intentions are exactly the same as before. So, get your ass in the shower, put on a decent pair of jeans, and change your top to something without food stains on it because you only get one first impression and I’m not going to stand by and watch you blow it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex groaned as he read the millionth text he’d received from Meredith in the past hour. She’d been nagging him endlessly since the moment he’d left Seattle and stepped off the plane at the other side, always eager to know his every move. Meredith was the only person who knew where he truly was and his reason for up and leaving work so suddenly, hence Alex felt obliged to keep her updated on the situation to keep her from blabbering about it to somebody else instead, something that was especially important considering he was relying on her to not tell his mother the truth. The last thing Alex needed right now was one Helen Karev lending her two cents in and complicating things with Jo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your mom keeps asking me when you will be home!!” Meredith’s text displayed across his screen, another three saying essentially the same thing popping up a minute later. Though, like every text she’d sent that morning, he ignored it. Alex’s mind had gone into overdrive the second Amber announced Jo’s plans to let him see Asher, giving him little time to respond to any of the messages. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t talk, meeting Asher today. Just tell her what I told everyone at the hospital – that I’m at a medical conference. I shouldn’t be gone too much longer,” Alex typed out on his phone, hoping the message would put a stop to the incessant questioning, before turning the screen off completely so that he could get on with the task at hand. He made a last minute shopping trip into town to buy a peace offering for Jo, hoping to get her on his good side. That and he were determined to find the perfect present to give to Asher, except he wasn’t having any luck thus far. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been scanning the shelves of every store in the mall for the best dinosaur toy out there, knowing that his son was particularly interested in the topic. The challenge was finding anything age appropriate, with every item either being aimed at babies or fit for children much older than two. He’d done the same with Eli and Alexis, turned up with gifts for the both of them, but now he looked back on that moment with regret. Not only because the twins turned out not to be his, but because he’d spent the entire time shopping with tears welled in his eyes, thinking only of how much the idea of his life had changed. When he had imagined shopping for his children in the past, he saw Jo by his side throwing every second item into the cart as he whined and complained about having to be there. But Jo wasn’t there, she was never going to be a part of the life he was entering with Izzie, and that’s all he could think about as he stood in a twenty-four hour department store at 3am deciding if five year olds still liked teddy bears. However, unlike then, Alex was excited now. He was excited to see the look on his son's face when he gave him his present, he was excited to hold that same boy in his arms and hear him call him ‘dad’, and most of all, he was excited to raise him with Jo at his side. Co-parenting or married, they were doing it together, and for that he was grateful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi…” a small voice distracted him, bringing his focus down from the shelf and onto the young girl who was hovering hesitantly below him. He instantly recognised the voice to belong to one Scarlett Wilson, but his suspicions were quickly confirmed when he laid eyes on the girl he’d spent all of the night before with, her nerves shining through as she stared sheepishly up at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Scarlett,” he grinned, happy to see her so soon. Wes had described her as being slow to warm up to new people but he hadn’t experienced that at all, the two of them immediately clicking together. “You’re not alone, are you?” Alex looked around the aisle for any sign of Jo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” she popped her lips together, smirking slightly at her own mischievousness.“My momma is talking to a boring friend,” she rolled her eyes playfully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that right?” he chuckled, already seeing the initial shyness disappear. “As much as I’d love to hang out with you again, I think your mom would be pretty worried to find you missing. Can I take you back to her?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Scarlett murmured, “but can we play frozen again soon? It was the best fun.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scarett!” Jo yelled fearfully, frantically running around the corner with Asher glued to her hip. “Scarlett, can you please shout to mommy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex turned around to block her path, placing a comforting hand against her trembling shoulder, locking eyes. “She’s right here,” he gestured behind him, revealing a rather guilty looking Scarlett. “Everything’s fine, so let’s just take a deep breath and calm down,” he encouraged her to mimic his breathing, smiling slightly when she relented and he felt her relax at his touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo’s face was red and flushed from running, her eyes puffed with unshed tears. Once relaxed, her expression changed to confusion, looking between Alex and her daughter. “Why is she with you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like Alex,” Scarlett spoke defensively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, I don’t understand,” Jo stuttered. “How does she even know you?” she whispered angrily, glaring at Alex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh well, I was at Amber’s last night and-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo interrupted, shaking her head. “No, I get that you met but what I don’t understand is how she knows you well enough to chase you down in a shop. Scarlett only just started talking in full sentences to Amber and Wes, she doesn’t trust people easily.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess she just likes me,” Alex shrugged. “You know that I’m good with kids, being a pediatric surgeon and all. We played frozen together…I was the donkey.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The donkey?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sven or whatever his name is. The thing with antlers.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean the reindeer?” Jo laughed, throwing her back. It was a sight that Alex missed greatly, bringing him an unimaginable amount of joy and happiness as he saw the amusement painted across her face. She radiated every bit of glee and delight that he’d been lacking since the day he left her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo’s attention quickly turned to the boy on her hip as his fidgeting digged his foot into her rib, his muffled whines filling her ear. “Sorry, he’s getting restless…” Jo looked from Asher to Alex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex’s eyes darted to the small dimple cheeked boy he’d seen only in a photograph, his heart racing in his chest as he took in each and every feature. He’d seen him in Jo’s arm as they were talking, looked to him briefly as he was babbling away to himself, and yet he’d been too wrapped up in the line of questioning for it to fully sink in that it was Asher; that it was his son in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dinosaur!” the two year old jumped excitedly, kicking Jo again in the process, pointing to the row of toys behind Alex. The Karev smile that he’d seen so many times on both his family and himself gleaming largely, spread from ear to ear. He really did look at the spitting image of Harlan as a baby, even more than the picture let on. It was overwhelming to say the least, especially when he thought back to the day he met the twins, a day he spent in misery and sadness. Asher was perfect from head to toe, a Karev boy in every way possible, and he was his boy, his and Jo’s. There was no feeling inside of him other than love and endearment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, just look at that,” Alex beamed at Asher, turning around to pick up a dinosaur pillow off the shelf behind him. “I was actually here to find him a dinosaur toy but I guess a pillow will do,” he looked at Jo as he handed the pillow over to Asher. “It’s on me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to,” he answered quickly. “Please, let me do this. I want him to have something from me,” he watched Asher in awe, mesmerised. “I wasn’t expecting to run into you-” he started to say before Jo’s ringtone cut his sentence short. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it,” she cursed, “I have to take this. Can you, um,” Jo looked back and forth between Scarlett and Asher, “well, are you okay to watch them for a minute?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes of course,” Alex offered eagerly, holding his arms to take asher in his embrace. “Don’t stress, we’ll look for more dinosaur toys.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From the second Asher settled into his arms, nestling his head instantly against the crook of Alex’s neck, the silent storm of anxiety and hesitance settled also. His heart had been jumping rapidly in his chest, threatening the inner walls, except the comfort and the warmth of Asher’s body against his own drowned out the thumping noise. The nervous butterflies in his stomach quickly turned into flips of happiness, driven by the overwhelming love he already had for his son. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Down,” the toddler attempted to wriggle free, noticing that the pillow he’d only just received had accidently slipped from his grip. “Dinosaur!” he pointed to the new favourite item on the ground below them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Scarlett can you please pass that to me?” Alex encouraged, no desire whatsoever of letting go of the small boy still cradled in his embrace. “I think your brother might want to hold it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you…” Asher excitedly hugged the pillow after snatching it from her hands, leaning away from Alex, twisting on his hip to show him the pillow once more. “Look, it’s a dinosaur!” he beamed proudly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Alex chuckled, once again in awe of Asher. “It’s all yours to keep,” he added as he watched the thin smile on his face turn to a toothy grin, delighted at his gift, the dimples deepening in his cheek. It was a subtle change, one most people would miss, but Alex was scanning his face for each and every feature, desperate to get to know Asher inside out. Still, staring in admiration, it took everything in him not to pull Asher even closer, squeezing him tight into his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scarlett skipped forward, the touch of her hair brushing against his hip, reminding Alex of her presence beside him. “Say thank you, Ashie,” she encouraged her younger brother. “Say thank you to your dad,” she repeated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words knocked the wind out of Alex’s chest, his face, which was buried against Asher’s curly hair, turning to his side, the disbelief written across it as he stared wide-eyed at Scarlett. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” she shrugged, a guilty smile plastered across her face. “Raegan told me that you’re him, you’re Asher’s dad. The man who made me wasn’t ready to be a dad but that's okay because I met my true mom instead,” she explained, the hurt evident in her voice as she spoke about her biological father, but her genuine gratefulness just as clear as she spoke about Jo. “But my brother does have a dad, the man in the wedding photographs, the person my mommy loved. You.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex was fairly good at hiding his emotions, years of experience at pushing every thought and feeling down until he was alone. But, holding his baby boy in his arms for the first time, so close he can hear his every breath, all whilst the small girl who reminded him so much of Jo called him his dad, broke him. The tears he didn’t even know had been welling in his eyes were staining his cheek and the rim of his shirt, his words swallowed by a sudden shake in confidence. “He doesn’t need to call me that,” he looked between both children before setting his attention on only Asher. “You can just call me Alex. I’m Alex,” he playfully bounced the toddler, hoping to diffuse the obvious tension. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Da-da,” Asher giggled, a smile shining through both his eyes and mouth. “Hi Dada,” he beamed larger, the pillow falling from his grip once more as he wrapped his previously occupied arm around Alex. As if he knew how significant the words were, how badly Alex needed to hear them, the mini Karev echoed the words of admiration, the acceptance of Alex as his father. “Momma!” he screamed enthusiastically, noticing Jo had returned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo, I’m really sorry, I’m not trying to overstep-” Alex started to panic, not wanting to scare his ex-wife away by moving too fast with Asher. Although, unexpectedly, she didn't let him finish the apology. Instead, she hushed him, placing a comforting  hand on his shoulder as she wrapped her other arm around Asher, pulling Scarlett to her side also. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, baby. That’s completely right,” she rubbed circles on the small boys back, breathing a sigh of relief. “This is your daddy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tumblr: @mac-andcheeses</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. chapter six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy grey’s day everyone! here’s a wee update to get us through this camilla-less episode</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>It was everything he’d ever dreamed of; his child, his and Jo’s, asleep in his arms as the sun set around them. The evening sun cast long shadows at his feet, the slanting rays of the falling sun giving a warm orange tinge to the sky surrounding as the occasional barking of faraway dogs broke the silence. Asher’s chest rose and fell against Alex with each sleeping breath, his tiny hand clinging to the extra fabric on his dad’s shirt as he lay comfortably on his lap, melted in his embrace. Alex gladly held his son to him, one hand wrapped around his back, all while the other took interest in the karev-like curls on his head, his finger twisting around a particularly coiled ringlet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scarlett’s giggles echoed from the treehouse opposite where Alex was sitting, herself and Raegan taking turns going down the fireman's pole before climbing back up the ladder at the side. The two of them played together as if they’d known one another their entire lives, playing as cousins should, as Alex had always wished his children would. Except, Scarlett wasn’t his girl, no matter how much he truly cared for her. She was Jo’s daughter only. And yet, she fit into his picture perfect world like a glove, her joyous energy embodying everything he’d ever imagined for his and Jo’s daughter. It was surreal, really, the flood of emotions shooting through him as he held Asher in his arms as he watched the grin on Scarlett’s face grow larger and larger, playful laughter filling the back yard. The only thing that was missing, the one thing that didn’t match the preconceived ideas in his head, was the space between him and Jo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Physical space, yes, with Jo intentionally sitting in the farthest seat away from him, but emotional space too. They used to be so connected, so intertwined that they could tell what each other were thinking from a single glance at their face. It wasn’t like that anymore. Neither Alex nor Jo knew how to act around each other, let alone talk. Hence, when Asher’s tiredness started to shine through during their third lap of the park, when still not a genuine word had been spoken anybody, they both agreed to move the meet-up back to Amber’s place for dinner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, remind me again how you ran into each other at the opposite end of town of where you were going to be meeting?” Amber appeared back through the sliding doors to the back pavement where they were all sitting, a tray of desserts in hand for the kids. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex rolled his eyes, grateful for his sister’s ability to break up the awkward tension between him and Jo a bit, but frustrated by her constant nagging and need to know everything. “I told you,” he stuck his neck out “I don’t know my way around here so I just drove around until I found a store I recognised. The hospital has been leaving me message after message all day, so I was kind of distracted and possibly missed a few obvious places along the way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, they don’t have maps in Seattle?” Wes teased, already knowing the hatred Alex had against phone navigation apps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you’re needed back at Grey-Sloan, don’t hang around on my account,” Jo shrugged, but there were unspoken words trapped behind her eyes, darting away almost too quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you leaving?” Scarlett asked with a handful of chocolate chip biscuits in hand. “Are you taking my brother?” her voice raised slightly, concern spread through it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Alex and Jo repeated together, both as stern as the other, locking eyes as their faces lined up. Hurt ran through their veins, their pupils' radiating regret and betrayal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s getting cold out there. I think it would be best if we take dessert inside to eat,” Amber suggested, sending death glares everyone's way as they groaned and attempted to protest, everyone but Alex and Jo who knew the invitation inside wasn't extended to them. “Let me watch him for a bit so you two can chat,” she gestured for Alex to pass Asher her way, but he wasn’t relenting so easy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hell no,” Alex raised his brow at his sister, bewildered that she thought for even a second that he’d give his son up that easily. “I am holding my boy as he sleeps in my arms and it is the best feeling in the entire world. So no, you can’t take him, because I don’t want this moment to ever end.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Jo sighed softly, waving a dismissing hand Amber’s way. “Seriously,” she glared at the blonde again, encouraging her to leave, standing up to sit closer to Alex in the process. “If he wakes up, I’ll bring him inside.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two of them sat in silence together for what felt like hours, both anxiously checking their watches to see the hands moving slowly by. In reality, only a few minutes had passed, but each one of those minutes was more and more excruciating than the last. Neither Alex nor Jo knew what to say, had the words inside them to describe how they were truly feeling. Both were too afraid of saying the wrong thing, of ruining any chance they had of getting along from the get go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to ever take him away from you,” Alex broke the eerie stillness, his gaze lifting to land on Jo, taking in her blank expression. He used to be able to tell anything she was thinking, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, but he couldn’t anymore. Her thoughts were just as much a mystery to him as they were to the next guy. What had been clear, though, was the anger in her eyes when Scarlett brought up the possibility of him leaving with Asher. Not only because the idea was preposterous, but because a tiny part of her was worried about the same thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It broke his heart that the idea would even cross her mind, that Jo could imagine a world in which he would take her child away from her. However, what broke his heart even more was that he had given her a reason to think that way. What he did to her was cowardly, spineless and just plain fraudulent. He made her feel so safe, so happy and content, and yet, he took that away in one letter. Alex made Jo doubt the sincerity of their entire relationship, made her question whether or not he ever truly loved her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You hear me, Jo?” he tilted his head to the side, attempting to capture her attention. “I want to be in Asher’s life, and I will fight every single second for the rest of my life to make sure of that, but I will never deliberately allow my love for him to impact any opportunity you have to also be in his life. He deserves two happy parents, and more than anything, he deserves you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t respond, everything she wanted to say trapped by fear. But her posture dropped as relief flooded through her, the fallen shoulders not going unnoticed by Alex. It meant a lot to hear him say those words, the reassurance for the one thing she’d been worrying about since the day the second blue line appeared on the stick; the threat of somebody finding out about Asher and taking him away from her, taking away one of the last good things in her life. “Thank you,” she croaked, struggling to form any more words than that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did, Jo. Really good. Not just with Asher, but with Scarlett too,” he turned in his seat to watch the small girl through the window, her mouth full of ice cream. “She’s, wow, she’s phenomenal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Jo said, firmly. “Just stop. Leave my daughter out of this. I can handle the abandonment, the betrayal when you up and leave us again. It’s not like I haven’t been through it before. And Asher, well, you’ll make sure he always knows who you are, you’ll do anything for your kids after all,” she spat, losing any subtlety she was holding onto before about her feelings. “But Scarlett, she’s nothing to you. She didn’t get a good start to life, like me, and like you, but in some ‘meant to be’ sort of way, the universe brought us together. The day I first saw her, the moment I looked at her for the very first time, I knew she was my daughter, and she even called me mom,” tears fell down Jo’s face, Alex resisting the urge to reach out and wipe them away. “She’s been through so much as it is, and the way she just warmed up to you immediately, I’ve never even seen her do that before. So, if you leave her, Alex, if you betray the already so rare and special trust that she’s placed in you, you will break her. I won’t let that happen. It can’t happen. I won’t let you get close enough to allow it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t ever want to do anything to hurt her,” Alex frowned. “I only ever want to be a positive presence in her life, in yours too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re Asher’s dad, that’s it. Leave me and Scarlett out of it. I’m not giving you the opportunity to make me look like a fool again,” her eyes dropped to where her knee was bouncing nervously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex knew he’d hurt her, the thought itself haunting him every day since he left, but he had always imagined that she’d try and fake a brave face if they ever spoke again. But Jo wasn’t trying to act strong at all, quite the opposite in fact. Jo was as vulnerable and as real as ever, not holding back on voicing a single thought that crossed her mind. “You don’t really believe that I’d do that, do you? Come on, you know me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hah!” Jo huffed, unamused by his lack of self-awareness. “I thought I knew you three years ago, yes. I thought you were my loving and committed husband, the love of my life who was going to stick by my side through thick and thin, I thought I could trust you to be a forever presence in my life. But I couldn’t, Alex, could I? You told me you were going to visit your mom for a couple of days,” her voice broke as she lifted her head to look at him again, biting her lip to hold back further tears. “You looked me dead in the eye, hand to heart, and told me that you would be coming back to me, and yet, you never did. Not only did you never come home to me, but you lay in bed beside me for days before you left knowing that you were going to turn your back on me. You made me laugh and told me you loved me, and worst of all, you let me love you back. We slept together,” she choked, the tears she was trying so desperately to hold back now falling onto her collar. “That last morning before you left, I wanted to try out that new breakfast spot by the airport, grab something before your flight. But, instead, after you begged and pleaded and promised to wake me up with a takeaway breakfast from there when you got back the next weekend, I got back into bed with you. You knew you were leaving, and you still let me have sex with you. I was the girl who ran at every chance she got, doubting the love of any person who ever tried to give it to me. But you taught me to be happy, to accept that life can be good, and then, you stole all that from me. You made me feel like trash, an unwanted fluke in this world that wasn’t supposed to find her place. You made me feel lost.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Alex pulled Asher’s up closer to him, burying his face into his embrace, desperate to hide the pain painted across it from Jo’s view. “I really am so sorry,” he cried out again, his face hidden, but the stutter in his voice revealing the tears rolling down it. “And I will tell you every day for the rest of our lives no matter if you believe me or not. You’re amazing, Jo, oh so brilliant, and you don’t deserve to live a single day of your life doubting that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do this!” Jo stood up frantically, wiping the sadness from her cheek, both of their confessions suddenly becoming all too much for her. “Pass him over,” she held her arms out to hold Asher in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mommy,” the curly haired boy blinked sleepily, waking at the sound of his name, wriggling in Alex’s embrace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, baby,” Jo pulled him into her hold, running her hand through his hair. “Let’s get you back home.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo, please,” Alex protested weakly, knowing her mind was already set on leaving. “I don’t want this to be how our conversation ends. There’s still so much more that needs to be said.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded sadly, aware that her exit was only a temporary fix for her anxiety. She was going to have the same conversation again soon, and again, and multiple times after that until they were able to come to a mutual understanding. “I know but, right now, this is all I can handle. I’m not running, Alex, I’m pressing pause. Give me the space I need.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was another week until they saw each other again, Jo having successfully avoided Alex’s every move for seven days straight. She arranged for his visits with Asher to be at Amber’s house and asked for the pick ups and drop offs to be at daycare instead of her own place, giving her plenty of space from the one person she couldn’t bear to see. Except, they had a child together, so crossing paths again was inevitable, Jo just hoped she could put it off for longer. However, there he was standing in her doorway with both Scarlett and Asher in hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he smiled too happily for her liking, almost smug like. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping them back instead of Amber, something came up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine,” she lied, hoping to hide her animosity towards Alex from the children. The last thing they needed was more drama in their lives. “I’ve got it from here,” she gave him an opportunity to leave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he stammered, unsure. “I had been hoping we would get the chance to continue our conversation from the other day before I left. We’re kind of running out of time, with me needing to be back in Seattle and all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that Jo sighed, knowing she didn’t have much of a choice but to listen to what he had to say, for Asher’s sake. “Okay, then we can talk after dinner today. Let me get the kids to bed first,” she leveled with him, although to Alex, it only felt like he’d won extra. He had been craving the intimacy of putting his son down to sleep since the second he’d found out about him, desperate to hear his slow quiet breaths as he drifted off, just as he did in his arms that day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I help you? I can take Asher if you like,” he asked, optimistically, beaming in response to the soft nod of approval Jo gave him. “Thanks, Jo. I mean it, thank you,” he tried his best to show his appreciation, hoping to get on her good side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It paid off, kind of, with dinner going rather smoothly. But, still, the evening was tense, the air filled with the unspoken thoughts and emotions bubbling up inside each of them. It didn’t matter, though, because the peace and joy he felt as he sat beside his son’s bed was worth all the stress it took to get there. The young boy’s giggles bounced off the walls as Alex playfully read him a bedtime story, his head snuggling into his side with the blanket pulled up over them both. Every single second of it was magical, and Alex couldn’t believe he was getting to experience it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Ashie, that’s enough,” Jo interrupted Asher’s request for a third book, way ahead of the two year old. “It’s time to go to sleep.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, stay!” Asher pushed out his bottom lip, an expert in the toddler strop, earning himself an amused chuckle by Alex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, dad needs to go home to his own bed so that he can sleep too, just like you. Remember what big sissy told you? You need to sleep in order to grow up big and strong,” Jo attempted to reason, laughing to herself as she looked between the boy and Alex who was sitting beside him, taken back by their resemblance in that moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When I’m three?” Asher questioned, determined to know exactly when he will be allowed to stay up later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, when you are three and you’re an even bigger boy, you can stay up a tiny bit later with daddy,” Alex answered for Jo, not even fazed by the dirty look she was now giving her. “When is his birthday?” he asked her, suddenly realising he didn’t even know when his own son came into the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“October 31st,” Jo spoke quietly, all of a sudden appearing much sadder as she spoke. “Halloween.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for things to click in Alex’s brain, realising the cause of Jo’s low mood. Halloween was their anniversary, almost four years since they celebrated their second and official wedding ceremony. “I see,” he bowed his head in shame, not knowing how Jo felt about the universe's sense of humour. “That’s, well, that’s-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The world's cruel way of making sure I never forget the Karev part of him?” she joked. “Clearly, it didn’t think the crooked smile and the big brown eyes were enough, it needed to send me into labour the same day we got married as well.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was it like? Your labour?” Alex looked at Jo, the guilt still written across his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was about to respond, a smile even growing on her lips as she thought back to the moment two and half years ago, until Asher’s dull snores interrupted her. “Looks like somebody lost interest in our conversation,” she grinned, watching the sleeping curly haired boy lying beside Alex. “Shall we move this conversation someplace else?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Alex slipped his arm out from behind Asher, tucking the covers in around him as he stood up and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “So, was that a good smile or a bad smile? Karev babies have big heads, so I wouldn’t blame you if you cursed my name the entire time,” he followed her into the hallway between Asher and Scarlett’s bedrooms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” she leant against the wall, “it was a good smile, a very good smile. It was one of the best days of my life. It was our one-year anniversary, Alex. A day I was dreading for weeks leading up to it, a day that had the potential to be horrible. But instead of wallowing in self-pity, I got to hold my baby boy in my arms. I got to meet Asher. Although you’re right, Karev heads are huge. I don’t think even those hats your mom knitted would have fit him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come to Seattle,” Alex asked, excitedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was in Seattle the other week?” Jo questioned his suggestion, confused as to where he was coming from. “I have a life here, Alex. A life I was forced to build because you left me. I can’t drop everything now because you want back in.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook his head, immediately disagreeing. “No, not for me. Come to Seattle to see my mom. She lives with me now, and I know she would really love to see you again and meet Asher of course.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’m not going to pretend that I wouldn’t love you to move nearer to me, for you to be close enough for me to see Asher regularly. But, I also know that you don’t even want to entertain that idea, let alone consider it as an actual possibility. So, just come to Seattle, see everyone again and give it a shot.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One weekend,” Jo agreed. “But that’s it, that’s all I’m giving you. I’ll give my proper consideration but if I decide that it's not going to work, if my ideas about Seattle ring true, you’re not allowed to pressure me again later on.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Deal,” Alex held out his hand to shake, Jo accepting the handshake. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tumblr: @mac-andcheeses</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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